Ziay!

confused

a problem? i have been seeing a wonderful man for the past 7 months, and like all relationships we have had our good and bad moments. we have both had relationships that left us broken.but i have done what i can to leave my in the past, even being a single mother, i do not discuss my past relationships. but lately he hasnt been able to let his go. he even started compairing me to them. which is just wrong. but last night we got into a huge fight, and all i wanted to do was defuse the situation, until we could sit down and talk everything out like adults. but i couldnt, from me saying i dont want to fight it went to i was a failure in communication and that i dont take responaibilty for my actions. well, no i'm not the smartest person never calmed to be. but i do know i love him, and i dont want to lose my bestfriend. i just dont know how to get him to understandsomething has to change. we cant last if we cant talk things out. i know our relationship is worth fighting for, just not each other.

Constance M

Hi

My ex bf had the same problem always throwing his exes in my face but he never compared me to them . He and I both have had our share of heart aches but he could not let it go . I am that way too I dont discuss my past relationships because if they were desent guys they would still be around today .

I got fed up when he showed me the obituary of his finac'e of 5 years because I cannot compete with his past . When someone holds on to the past it puts a strain on a relationship . The past is just what it is the past and thats where it should stay . Use it as a learning tool and then move on .

It sounds like you really love him and I would just give him time and patience to let the smoke clear from the room . Express to him how you feel about this and take it from there .

Good Luck
C

jadie

Yes you guys need to talk, communication in a relationship is like blood in the body, you cant sustain without blood, its the same as communication. Maybe try to talking to him when both of you have calm down or change the way you come across, try to be a bit softer and not converse on an angry tone, the minute you sound loud or firm, they shut down, they dont hear they get defensive.
Wish you the best.

autumn

without honest communication this relationship will never work out

frogenstien

Tell him exactly what you just wrote. I think you said it perfectly. good luck.