Ziay!

Kiara

I don't believe in loving someone just because they're family. I believe that actually, family is more likely to screw you over, in the name of family. Am I the only one who doesn't love family just because they are family?
I mean, extended, not immediate. None of my family calls me, none of them even seem to care. But my cousin said she was "repulsed" by the fact that I didn't love her just cause she is my cousin.
I feel unconditional love, but a person has to earn it from me first. They don't get it just because they were born and happen to be a relative.
And I don't even think familial love is unconditional. It's obligatory love...and that repulses me. Am I alone in my feeling?
I can see what you mean...and I don't hold it against them. At least, I try not to. I do know God. It's not so much that I can't forgive them, as I wonder sometimes if it's best for me to continue to be around them when I can hardly eat or sleep because I worry at my problems with them. My whole day was ruined because of my cousin today. I'm not mad at her...just upset with how she manipulates my feelings sometimes.
And I feel people deserve love because we are all God's people. But it's a different love than the unconditional love that I feel for say, my husband. I just can't personally love someone just because of their status as my family. As people, but not as family. Because I feel that love is a very personal love, and I just can't give it to anyone.

pilvlpway21337

I don't really feel the love of "family" either until I recently actually felt what love is, or what I THINK love is. Seriously I agree with you 100% I was thinking of this awhile back. Why love family, because they are family? Just because? Or what? I have different levels of feelings for each family member. Atleast you're not alone.

coolertime

although there is no legal obligation for family love.the older i get the closer i come to my family.i appretiate the history of our ties and it caries on in the relationships i make

christian_lady_2001

Kiara, no. You are not alone in your feeling. But may I make a suggestion?

I grew up in a family where people routinely stabbed each other in the back. It was a very unhappy place, and for most of our lives, certain people within the family came to resent others....this has lasted a lifetime in some instances.

But you have a choice to make, and let me tell you how I made mine; I came to know the love of Jesus Christ. So no longer is my life about, who did what to me. My life is about how to learn to love others unconditionally, as God loves me.

You have a choice to make too; which end of the pencil do you wish to use in your life? The one that is continally writing down the offenses people give you...or the one that is continually erasing offenses, always forgiving, showing kindness with no expectation of return? I can tell you one thing for sure; the second choice above will bring a life of peace and fulfillment; the first a life of bitterness and resentment. The choice is yours to make.

Juliart

I dont think you are required to love your family if they are jerks. But that does not mean that you should hate them. If they are your family then they are a part of your life. How much of a part is up to you. For instance, if you are married and/or out on your own, you can choose not to see them that often. Limit visits to one hour, or an occasional lunch. Even just sending a Birthday card instead of seeing them. If things improve in the future (people can change, you know!) then increase the time you allow with them.