Ziay!

youngwoman

I am 25 and he is 26. He lives with his father and brother. His father works 24/6. His brother is 30, mentally challenged, asthmatic, diabetic, and has many diseases. Each day a nurse takes care of his brother 9-7. The father is not comfortable leaving his brother alone and places a burden on him to be home shortly in case his brother needs him. If he stays out, his father gets upset. His father never understands him and is very tough and mean. He is a respectful son since birth. It is not easy for him to be a brother like father person. That takes away his life. It brothers me because PERSONALLY, I don't like dating guys having family burden. I talked to him about it but he hides everything to himself, which I don't feel that close to him anymore. I thought about dumping him, but no because I LOVE him. He is my first love. I spent a lot of time finding the right guy. It's hard to let go. But I can't accept this. I really wish there was something I can do. What should I do?

gogrl80

I dont blame you for not wanting a guy with "baggage" however, If you really love him, you have to let him know that he has to find a better balance between his responsibilities at home and the relationship you share. It doesn't sound like his situation at home will change/improve so the best thing may be to move on. Otherwise, you will begin to compromise your own happiness for a relationship that was never meant to be. On the other hand, if you knew his situation going into it, YOU will need to make some changes. If you are not willing to do that...Just let it go. Someone else will come along that is more compatible.

Jersey Girl

It's too bad you feel that way, but how would you feel if the shoe was on the other foot. What if it was you with a brother/sister mentally challenged and very ill and in need of care and you lived alone with your mother only. And it was he that loved you but "didn't like dating gals with family burden"??
Perhaps it's something to think about and help this love of yours and be there for him and going out is not always that important..

cpomurphy

It's tough when you love someone but they are too emotionally invested in something else to return that love the way you would like. I can completely empathize with your situation. I don't think it's right to just let go without having a frank discussion with your significant other. If they are too cocooned and distant to participate, then I wouldn't waste too much energy here. He may seem like the perfect lad - but there are others out there who will match you just as well... and at this point, it's about time to cut your ties, heal yourself, and start your search anew.